dreams

i had an interesting dream last night...it was the first day of school...now mind you, i was my actual age in this dream but i was heading back to st therese school for the 8th grade. the day had a rocky start, with me deciding on blue scrub pants and a red new orleans saints jersey (sleeveless by the way). as we were in class the sprinklers went off and we smelled smoke, everyone was rushing to get out of the buliding knowing the fire was getting closer. we get out and are all looking up at the burning building when the ground began to shake. well what the hell do we have here? around comes t-rex chasing all the adult aged school kids and eating them, i was with a group of people hiding under a row of beds lined up in the yard, then we ran and hid behind some other oddly placed furniture. i remember my sister laura yelling to me from a "safe zone" that i couldnt get to, she was telling me where to hide next and where the dinosaur was. i knew i was having a dream but it was still pretty intense. friends and aquaintences were being shred to pieces right in front of me, i got slapped aroud by the damn dinos tail and at one point was in the clutches of his sharp teeth but somehow i survuved it.
when i woke up i tried going back over the details of the dream trying to figure out what it all could mean, i was positive that being stuck in a burning building in an unmatched outfit, watching the school and church that i had been going to for years and recently felt dissapointed by go up in flames only to be chased by a horrific creature could mean one thing: im losing control of everything around me. its fitting and not surprising if thats infact how the dream interprets. so i refer to my handy dream guide to verify.
well its not what i expected...there was little to nothing to verify that im losing control but ill be damned if being chased/hunted by a wild animal isnt linked to your sex drive. the bigger and wilder the animal, the bigger and wilder the sex drive....did i mention i was being chased by a t-rex? 

new..

well i have no idea what im supposed to be writing about, i almost feel stupid posting stuff because i have no idea who in the world would be interested in reading about me. im really not that interesting...

i started drawing again, its been well over a year since ive had time or motivation to pick up my sketch book. between throwing together my dream wedding and trying to cope with the loss of my dad, i havent had much motivation for anything. for the first time in a year and a half i think im starting to feel again. dont get me wrong, i feel pain every second of my life but i think im starting to feel happier feelings too...my dad was my biggest fan of my art so drawing again kinda took me back to a time where i was much happier, it makes me think he just might be smiling over my shoulder. in fact, i know he is, somedays thats the only things that gets me by